I am currently obsessed with Ashe’s Stop the Wedding. If the song sounds familiar, Ashe is also the singer behind Moral of the Story, which became one of those songs that somehow finds its way into your feelings whether you asked for it or not.
Lately, Stop the Wedding has been trending on TikTok, with women using the sound to call out red flags they see in relationships, reflect on things they tolerated in the past, or express regret over relationships that did not turn out the way they hoped.
And honestly, I get it.
There is something cathartic about taking a song that captures regret and using it to put words to experiences that were painful, complicated, or simply not what you deserved.
What I find interesting, though, is how some happily married women or women who are in genuinely wonderful relationships have also started using the sound to basically say, “I regret nothing!” or “Couldn’t be me because I got it good. Bait ng partner ko. Thank you, bhe! Mwah!”
Eh di ikaw na.
But also… this trend is not for you.
You can enjoy the song. You can listen to it on repeat. You can even appreciate what everyone is sharing. But you don’t necessarily have to jump into the trend just because it’s trending.
Because this particular trend has a context.
It is being used by people who are talking about regret, red flags, heartbreak, surviving unhealthy relationships, or realizing things about their past that they wish they had known sooner. Some people are sharing things that are genuinely painful.
And when you come into that space to announce how lucky you are that none of it applies to you, it can feel incredibly tone deaf.
It’s the social media version of someone opening up about a difficult experience and responding with, “Wow, I can’t relate. I’m so lucky I’ve never experienced that.”
Okay (kalot ulo)… congratulations?
I actually remember sharing something traumatic with a friend once, only for that friend to respond by talking about how fortunate they were that they had never experienced anything like it.
Technically, they weren’t saying anything wrong. Of course, I wouldn’t wish trauma on anyone. And yes, they were lucky.
But that wasn’t the moment to celebrate their luck.
Sometimes people don’t need you to tell them how fortunate you are that you can’t relate.
They just need you to listen.
That is what sensitivity is about.
You can be happy with your relationship without making someone else’s pain a backdrop for celebrating yours. You can be grateful that you’ve never experienced certain things without making someone feel even more isolated for having experienced them.
And honestly, you don’t have to participate in every trend.
Not every TikTok sound needs your personal spin. Not every conversation needs your contribution. Not every moment that is going viral needs to include your story.
Sometimes, the most thoughtful thing you can do is simply let other people have their moment. Bida bida talaga always? Eh di ikaw na.
Enjoy your happy marriage. Enjoy your healthy relationship. Be grateful for what you have. I genuinely love that for you.
But you don’t have to insert yourself into a trend about regret just to announce that you have nothing to regret.
Because sometimes, reading the room is the better flex.
Let people talk about what hurt them.
Let people process their past.
Let people have their moment.
And if you are one of the lucky ones who can’t relate, maybe just listen and be grateful.
Hindi na en vogue ang main character syndrome, teh. Ang uso ngayon ay character development.
Not everything needs to be about you.
